Make a decision and commit to it. Equanimity 101.
Spending time waffling back-and-forth is nothing but wasted time and energy that ramps up anticipatory anxiety.
You have every right to change your mind, however, understand that ambivalence is a resource drain.
We all know the feeling: Say ‘yes’ to something and then spend days/hours/weeks thinking of how to come back and say ‘no.’ If you do muster up the resolve to flip on a choice, you are rewarded with the instant relief of avoiding something. A neat short-term solution. However, when you look back at all of the time you thought about pulling out beforehand and all of the wasted stress, it would have been better to make the inevitable decision from the start.
Making a decision and committing helps curb anxiety. So stop going back and forth again and again. And start immediately.